So, I have been a foster parent since December, 2007. I am open to emergency placements, short and long term placements, and pre-adoptive placements. I am open to any race, a multitude of health issues, and either gender. When I started out I was with a private agency that was licensed through DYFS; they facilitated placements for DYFS. I had 3 calls within my first 2 months of being a licensed foster parent. This agency was the go-to contact for a county placement facilitator who dealt with many children needing out-of-home (foster) placements. Unfortunately, my private agency changed their contract with DYFS and now only deals with training and licensing; no more placements. I was transferred to my county DYFS office.
In the four years since then, I have only had 9 calls for placements. Yes, you read that correctly- NINE calls. And 3 placements. That is less than 1 placement a year. The state paid to train and license me as a foster parent and pays each year to re-license me and they have only called me 9 times in 4 years. I have only said no to 2 of the calls (a 13 years old and a 7 year old with a history of sexual abuse). I have had 3 placements (a 10 month old, a 2 year old, and a 2 and 3.5 year old). The rest of the children I was called about were placed with relatives after I said yes to the placement facilitator. I guess they line up resource homes in case they can't find relatives to take the kids. Both my resource worker (the person from DYFS who manages foster parents) and my county's placement facilitator have told me I am a good home and provide excellent care (I really do!), so I don't think my lack of placements is due to any blacklisting.
I am soooooo frustrated with fostering lately! Here are some of my frustrations:
- My darn resource worker will NOT call me back and refuses to update my home study. I have been asking since May to have my home study updated and sent to Adoption Operations (the state adoption unit) in Trenton. My resource worker won't do it. I don't understand why she won't do it. She has told me 3 times, "I will come out at the end of the week to see you so I can update it". She doesn't come! This has been going on for 8 months now. I should call and complain, but she is very nice and I don't want to get her in any trouble. I am frustrated...
-I got a call in June for a 3 year girl who needed a pre-adoptive placement. I said yes! I was so excited. I heard nothing else that week...or the week after...or the week after (sensing a pattern here?). I finally called my county placement lady (who is very nice, courteous, responsive, and professional) who found out the child had been placed with a sibling. I am frustrated. *sigh*
-I got a call in September for a 2 year old pre-adoptive placement. They didn't end up removing him from his kinship placement (kinship is a family member or family friend the child is placed with). I was disappointed, but not too much because the child didn't have to be traumatized by being removed from the only family he has known since he was an infant.
-I got a call 2 weeks later for the same 2 year old. The placement worker told me that the kinship home gave them the name of another relative who they did NOT expect to pass the background check. Well, the relative passed the check and the child was placed with them. This time I was disappointed. And frustrated that I allowed myself to get my hopes...again.
-I got a call for a 2 week old in October. I said yes! They called back and said no. A relative had been located.
-And since October, the silence from DYFS has been deafening (n.o. calls). THIS is frustrating.
The lack of placements has to do with the county I am in. There are just not many removals here, which is a good thing. But in counties that border mine, there are 3 and 4 times as many removals. My son was a out-of-county placement. They don't do much out-of-county placements anymore. I wish they would place out-of-county. The resource homes in counties bordering mine are packed. And I am sitting empty. Its a shame. I want to foster children who need a safe place to stay. I want to adopt from foster care. I accept almost every placement call I get. But it is just not working out. And that is disappointing. And very, very frustrating.
So, I need to move on with finding other avenues for adding to my little family (and yes, I know that fostering does not automatically lead to adoption. I fully support reunification with families of origin; however, fost/adopt situation DO happen in the world of foster care; I would be happy with any placements, whether it be short term, long term, or pre-adoptive!). I am not ready to give up (yet) on fostering, but I need to explore other options. I will start this exploration by having a private home study done.
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